Cosmo Confessions

Why Cosmopolitan Magazine rules, in an awesomely trashy way:

• The invention of the word "frienvy" (being envious of a friend... I thought this was just called "envy," but I guess I thought wrong.
  
• The obligatory celebrity-gossip-couched-in-expose-on-paparazzi story, about how now such details as cold sores and "more than a few inches of space between a 'happy' couple walking together" are scrutinized endlessly. This, only a couple months after the "sure signs these celeb couples were headed for disaster" article, in which those same few inches of space were scrutinized endlessly.
  
• Cosmo Kama Sutra, aka, how many ways can we make the same 5 sex positions look new and exciting? This month's installment: just add water.
  
• The untold (except for every other issue ever published) secret to great sex.
  
• The following example of decoding bad-guy language (as in, guys to actually avoid, like stalkers):
  
  He says: "I'm gonna hit the men's room again. Three times in an hour might be a record for me."
  Distilled Version: "I'm going to the men's room for the third time."
  True meaning: "I use cocaine."
  
  Ok, maybe I have a freakishly small bladder, but when I drink a few beers I have to pee at least that much, for real.

In other news, I'm thinking about grad school. Poly-sci. Better actually open that GRE book one of these days...