my very own randall's island adventure

so i know a number of people who've gotten lost on randall's island. this is just what happens when you ride a bike and have to get between upper manhattan, queens, and/or the bronx. so whoever's experienced this rite of passage for themselves will know this story already.

so i was going from harlem to astoria. looking at the map, it was just so much faster to take the triborough than to ride all the way down to the queensboro and back up. and i'd taken that route twice already in the other direction, how hard could it be?

so i set out. found the manhattan side of the bridge NO PROBLEM. i RULE! i just had to remember how to do the rest of it. luckily, at the bottom of the bridge was a sign directing me that queens was to the left. RAWK!

unfortunately, this sign was intended for cars. before i knew it, but not until it was too late to turn back, i was on a highway onramp! oh carp! then i was on the shoulder of a major highway. there's an experience i don't need to repeat. EVER.

but lo! what should appear but a separated pedestrian/bike path! i hopped the cement divider and quickly discovered that this path has been closed for a long time. no matter, i can handle a little trash! and debris! and construction cones... and... broom handles...

what i can't handle is when the path ends and empties back onto the highway. at this point i'm starting to remember DB and NJ's story of their heroic journey from the bronx back to queens last year sometime. so like our motto in ireland ('cows have been here!' meaning, there's cow poop on these rocks so they must be navigable), the thought 'bikes have been here!' was at least a little comforting. that and the realization that a path that has an end must also have a beginning. ...and the hope that that beginning is not a 20 foot drop into sewage or something.

i turn around, re-braving the broom handles, construction cones, debris, and trash, and find my way to the beginning of the path. and it begins at a closed chainlink fence. but through the chanlink fence is a parking lot where i've been before! hoorah!

i find a spot from which to drop my bike (::sniff::), then go and climb over the fence. i retrieve my bike and it seems to have no permanent damage (yay IRO! so tough!).

oh! i forgot! before hopping the fence, there were some very seedy characters driving and running around the parking lot. they were probably just fucking around. but in the dark, with my already-adrenalized mind, i decided to duck in case they were committing some crime for which the only kind of witness they needed was a dead witness. nobody wants to be the next true story an episode of law and order is based on. so i ducked. they left and didn't seem to notice me.

anyhoo, i got over the fence, retrieved my bike, and continued on my merry way. i found the road down the island—the bike safe one!—and saw, in the distance, a blinky light! i followed the other bike, trying to be as un-creepy about it as possible, until it turned on to the queens triboro bike path.

smooth sailing (well, besides those pesky stairs that aren't very well marked and that, luckily, i knew were there) all the way into queens. success!


in which i return to blogging

if all goes well1, this post marks my triumphant return to the blogotubes.

a lot has happened in the six or so months since my last post (and, i admit, republished-comic-as-blog-post is weak. even if the comic itself spoke to me on a deep personal level. so maybe let's say the seven or so months since my last post). what are these lots of things, you ask? let's see...

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::/time-travel-indicating squiggly lines::

  • i got hit by a car
    some official vehicle made a right hand turn into where i was riding my bike. neither i nor my bike was badly hurt, but mom replaced my helmet just in case. bastard never sent me his insurance info.
  • i quit my job
    no more soul-sucking no-appreciation advertising work for me! i'm entering the wonderful world of student loan debt. living off of loans entirely, until i hopefully find the elusive paid internship this summer, and then again until i hopefully acquire the even more elusive google summer internship next summer2, i will soon be a master of computer science.
  • i started school
    see above.
  • election 2008
    ... continued. granted, i hadn't really said much, or anything, about it. but according to jon stewart, the gloves came off last january. then they came off this january. how many pairs of gloves are hillary and barack wearing, exactly? i'm so ready for this primary season to be over.
  • writers' strike
    proving that reality television can hold the networks over for quite a long time. and that jon stewart and stephen colbert aren't half bad at ad-libbing.
    in which a bunch of dirty queer anarchist punks go up to maine for an extended weekend of lounging around in the woods by a lake. then we go to the beehive collective where we explode from all the mutual crushes, and from the awesome power of the megaflute.
  • lots more biking
    including a 95-mile century3, getting lost in queens at least 3 times, riding into a whole nother state (jersey!), riding around in a whole nother city (philly!), and getting 5th girl at cranksgiving, my second real alleycat. resulting in losing so much weight i started to wonder if i eat enough4.
  • a wedding on the beach
    not my wedding, silly! my cousin sarah. there was even a rainbow.
  • a wedding on a ranch
    still not my wedding. stop that. this was my cousin annelisa. it even had barbecue, and flashy-light wine glasses. and i wore my cowboy boots. and at least 3 people brought up my wedding and when will that happen and what will it be like and blah blah blah, which is just so much fun when you're single and 25.
  • everyone took their links to my blog off of their blogs
    well, everyone who still blogs. i'ma have to send this out to them special delivery.

that's it for now! maybe i'll explain the above picture next week! who knows?

1. read: if i don't just forget this grand plan a week from now. this plan is about one post per week, starting with this one.
2. any help you, dear reader, can give me in this endeavor will be much appreciated.
3. i invented the 95-mile century, biotch.
4. don't worry, i'm right smack in the middle of the healthy BMI range.