Things that made me happy this weekend

• sitting in the living room with tara enjoying the christmas tree
  
• getting my hair cut (it's not the best ever, but for a growing-it-out cut it is good)
  
• the onion holiday party
  
• 5 orders of steamed juicy pork buns
  
• getting the better part of my christmas shopping done

totally rad

so this past weekend, with the help of mattio, i realized just how non-radical my life got lately. mostly i blame having too much work to have the energy to care about anything. work is crazy because it's advertising. thus, i blame capitalism. it all comes full circle. or... something.

i guess it really started with last week being a crappy one work-wise. so that's where i was coming from.

RudeMO

friday night i went to see the Rude Mechanical Orchestra, NYC's radical street band that i was going to join over the summer. i failed to do so before work became crazy again (hm, i sense a theme), so now the goal is january. but it turns out scarlisle is in the RMO, as is mattio's roommate ricky, whom i'd met at bsom's birthday party, and with whom i'd discussed the RMO, which he was joining at the time (again, full circle. another theme). this makes mattio and myself groupies, apparently. well, that and the part where we went and hung out while they all warmed up. so then we headed over and watched Drunkest Band Ever play the end of their set, then ask where the Infernal Noise Brigade was (speaking of which, did y'alls know they broke up? back in july), before continuing to play so that they had to be cut off so RudeMO could take the stage.

then, they played Bella Ciao! then they played Decepticon, complete with the dance! and awesome new lyrics! about bombs! and motherfucking wargames! i'm so "trying out" for this band as soon as possible.

Freegan Bike Workshop

so then on saturday, mattio showed me the Freegan Bike Workshop. it's this warehouse-type space full of clothes, in the back, and found bike parts in the front. so we set about building me a bike. it was mostly not very successful, but i got my hands all greasy and learned a couple of things about bicycles. one day we'll make it back and finish me one. it'll be pretty awesomely not matching. then i can cover it with stickers and such, perhaps.

so maybe i should ask for a bicycle helmet for christmas (hint hint ::cough:: mom ::cough::), the kind that's safer than my old one as wearing a helmet does increase one's chances of getting hit by a car (but it also increases your chances of surviving said collision, and increases my chances of feeling safe and secure). oh and an NYC-sized lock. but not the kind that could be picked with a bic pen. do they still sell those?


so now i need to do all of my christmas shopping, and i'm not in a very consumerist mood. and, i'm still busy with work (work theme, and full circle theme, making a theme theme, which just caused this post to implode)

Adventures in Showering

So it was a Saturday, not too long ago, when VJR decided to celebrate her birthday. The birthday was also not too long ago, so this made perfect sense.

I had left the same VJR mere hours before after a trip to the knitting store (no, that wasn't supposed to rhyme). Excited about the new project and the fabulously fallish weather, I went out rollerblading. At dusk. So of course, in the fading light, I failed to notice the twig in the road and went right down. Now, I'm scrappy, so of course I got back up and finished the circuit.

Once home, I decided it would unacceptable for TQ to stay late at work. It was Saturday! So I texted her:

Dude, you'd better leave work on time. It's Saturday! I'm showering now, when I get home you'd better be here.

Then I looked at my knee, and texted TQ again:

Um, could you pick up some gauze and band-aids on the way?

I scraped up my knee 9-year-old style. And my elbow a little. I'm hoping for a righteous scar. It's been a week and the elbow is fine and the knee is totally healing. I'll keep ya posted.

So showering took a bit of time.

TQ got home and delivered the medical goods. So I bandaged up the knee before it could ooze on too much, while we watched some Prisoner (see previous post).

TQ needed to rant, so I offered to join her in the shower (ew, get your mind out of there it's dirty. The shower curtain is opaque; I was sitting on the toilet) so that she could rant and clean at the same time (ooh, time-saving!).

So I decided to further time-save, as we were already looking to be rather late, by having dinner (cereal with milk) in the bathroom with the cleaning and the ranting.

This is where the trouble started.

As per usual, there was no hot water. So TQ, covered with soap, was wet and cowering in the corner and ranting. I needed something, so I put the bowl on the top part of the toilet and got it, and when I sat back down I knocked over the bowl, breaking it and spilling cereal and milk all over the floor.

So with the bandaged and painful knee I had to somehow kneel on the floor and reach around behind the toilet to clean up broken porcelean and TQ is trying to rinse off without freezing her arse off. This part goes surprisingly smoothly.

But of course, neither of us has clean clothes. Again, we're scrappy, so this wasn't too big a problem. Bending my knee in jeans wasn't the most fun thing, but we arrived at the party with perfect timing--just as BSom was getting there too! We RULE!

The Prisoner (on DVD!)

So I catsat a couple of weeks ago for Joe, and as it turns out in addition to a shit-ton of records, he has a shit-ton of DVDs, including all of The Prisoner.

The Prisoner is an acid-trip of a mystery/action/spy thriller from 1967 in which a recently-retired secret agent gets drugged and passes out only to wake up in an isolated place called The Villiage in which everyone's name is replaced with a number and there's no indication of who's who and whom to trust. It influenced such shows as Lost, and basically is awesome.

It takes lots of concentration to get what's going on, but for the most part it's episodic and you don't need to watch them in order. In fact, the DVD set I borrowed has a different order than the original air dates.

It's thick with symbolism and sometimes its clues are in the minutest of details.

I definitely recommend.

Snakes and Planes

Ooh, topical!

So I flew to Norway, by way of Iceland, a couple of weeks ago. Iceland Air is the most direct one-stop flight to Norway from the States, with the added bonus of stopping in Iceland. Some may not call this so much of a bonus, considering I certainly wasn't there long enough to stray from Keflavik Airport, but now that Europe is consolidating its immigration duties that means I have an all new stamp on my passport. Woot!

A week after getting home, that whole liquid terror plot thing happened. Had my trip been a week later, or had the Republicans preemmptively exposed the plot by an extra week, those flights home would have sucked. Or they wouldn't have existed for an extra few days, which I can't say I would have minded. Check out bsom for better analysis of the terror plot propaganda.

Then this past week, the Brooklyn Bridge Park film series screened Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark, a fine movie featuring planes (complete with propellers and red lines) and snakes ("Why'd it have to be snakes"), and this:

There's a big snake in the plane, Jock.
Oh, that's just my pet snake Reggie.
I hate snakes, Jock. I hate 'em.
C'mon, show a little backbone, will ya?

Possibly the best snake-on-plane dialogue ever, but do please submit your own. Just please don't ruin any new movies for me and my loyal readers until they've been out for at least a couple weeks.

In other movie news, World Trade Center opened a week or so ago, and I don't think I really want to see it. I must say I'm a little angry at Oliver Stone—if he's not careful he's going to give some pretty big ideas to the terrorists.

This is a test

Yes, I'm using my blog for work. Don't ask. but do get excited.

Report: Meat Now America's No. 2 Condiment

Look! Up in the sky! I mean, on 5th Ave!

I just got back from the Brooklyn Superhero Supply Co., on 5th Ave in Park Slope. It. is. so. cool. I couldn't help but get a t-shirt and a map of Brooklyn and Environs. They also have paint cans full of tights and leotards, capes, wrist-talkies and other gadgets, and secret identity kits (see? serial commas are totally necessary). (And now I can't remember how to properly order an end-parentheses and a period.) It's also an after-school tutoring program for kids. So when you buy things, not only do you have to take the Superhero Pledge and put your money into a Vault, but you also are supporting a good cause. Woot woot!

Push, Fuck, or Marry

(originally from the game we played on the way back from Asbury Park on Sunday)

• FOXNews
  
• Scientology
  
• Osama bin Laden
  

Discuss.

seattle!

Things that ruled about my trip to visit Becca in Seattle
In chronological order

• Jet Blue
  Not only did I get cookies *and* chips *and* the famous cheese and crackers (hm, now i'm hungry), but i also got to watch a whole marathon of ANTM. And if you don't know what that stands for, you'd probably think less of me for having watched it, so I'm not going to say. Also, parts of the Daily Show.
  
• Seeing Becca!
  I mean, duh.
  
• Pike Place Market
  Free samples, first ever Starbucks, cool retro posters, crepes... (now i'm more hungry) Awesome.
  
• The Space Needle
  I had to say it. I mean, come on. It was... tall.
  
• Ballard
  NORWEGIANS! Or, Norwegian flags. And... Indian food (ok that's it i'm getting some breakfast). And a bar with Aquavit and the Mad Magazine Game and friendly people.
  
• The park
  Coffee, Ice Cream, and lots of walking in pretty. And bunnies (cute!) and squirrels (less cute).
  
• The thrift store
  2 cool new t-shirts for $1.49.
  
• Fado
  Lots of cute boys. Good for kissing, as the pictures that have probably found there way onto his MySpace by now will attest to.
  
• Punk Rock Diner (PUNK ROCK BEACH!)
  Ok it wasn't punk-themed or anything, and it wasn't even a diner by New England standards (let alone Jersey standards), but it had waffles at 2am and every punk and goth in the city had found their way there. Also, there was a tv you could send a text message to, kind of like at the Green Day concert.

There was other awesome, but leaving was less fun. But Brooklyn is also cool, and this week included a pink gorilla suit, a birthday party, the artist formerly and currently known as Prince, and Beth and Matt. And today, soccer! And I think a haircut, to go with all my awesome new earrings.

seattle!

Things that ruled about my trip to visit Becca in Seattle
In chronological order

• Jet Blue
  Not only did I get cookies *and* chips *and* the famous cheese and crackers (hm, now i'm hungry), but i also got to watch a whole marathon of ANTM. And if you don't know what that stands for, you'd probably think less of me for having watched it, so I'm not going to say. Also, parts of the Daily Show.
  
• Seeing Becca!
  I mean, duh.
  
• Pike Place Market
  Free samples, first ever Starbucks, cool retro posters, crepes... (now i'm more hungry) Awesome.
  
• The Space Needle
  I had to say it. I mean, come on. It was... tall.
  
• Ballard
  NORWEGIANS! Or, Norwegian flags. And... Indian food (ok that's it i'm getting some breakfast). And a bar with Aquavit and the Mad Magazine Game and friendly people.
  
• The park
  Coffee, Ice Cream, and lots of walking in pretty. And bunnies (cute!) and squirrels (less cute).
  
• The thrift store
  2 cool new t-shirts for $1.49.
  
• Fado
  Lots of cute boys. Good for kissing, as the pictures that have probably found there way onto his MySpace by now will attest to.
  
• Punk Rock Diner (PUNK ROCK BEACH!)
  Ok it wasn't punk-themed or anything, and it wasn't even a diner by New England standards (let alone Jersey standards), but it had waffles at 2am and every punk and goth in the city had found their way there. Also, there was a tv you could send a text message to, kind of like at the Green Day concert.

There was other awesome, but leaving was less fun. But Brooklyn is also cool, and this week included a pink gorilla suit, a birthday party, the artist formerly and currently known as Prince, and Beth and Matt. And today, soccer! And I think a haircut, to go with all my awesome new earrings.

Best. Movie. Ever.

i just saw the most amazing thing committed to film ever. Well, maybe in the past 2 3/4 years.

The preview for Pirates of the Carribbean 2. Check it out for yourself (of course, it's much better in the theater).

Just thought I'd share that with you. The rest of the site is cool too. I mean, probably. I haven't checked it out yet.

W.T.F.

So according to the Washington Post, "New federal guidelines ask all females capable of conceiving a baby to treat themselves—and to be treated by the health care system—as pre-pregnant, regardless of whether they plan to get pregnant anytime soon. Among other things, this means all women between first menstrual period and menopause should take folic acid supplements, refrain from smoking, maintain a healthy weight and keep chronic conditions such as asthma and diabetes under control." (full article here)

Wow, thank you, CDC, for reminding me that my entire purpose in life is to breed babies. Despite relentless attempts to limit the women's right to choose, I'd almost forgotten. Good thing the federal government is here to help me be the best incubator I can be. Well, aside from doing anything as ridiculous as providing affordable pre-natal care to everyone who needs it.

Perhaps the high infant mortality rate in this country (second-highest in the world, is it? Or perhaps just among industrialized countries? Whatever, it's embarrassingly bad), cited as a possible motivation for this new "guideline," has to do with the flagrant lack of health coverage. I doubt that French women are any more likely to abstain from alcohol and cigarrettes than American women just because they're pre-menopausal. But French women are much more likely to be getting all the health care they need throughout their lives, and especially throughout their pregnancies, simply because they all have access to it.

And what's this assumption that every woman might get pregnant at any moment? Obviously, if the neocons get their way and outlaw all contraception, a lot of us will be a hell of a lot more likely to. But excluding rape, I doubt many lesbian women will have any unexpected pregnancies any time soon, not to mention those who are not at all sexually active.

I'm all for promoting good health. But couching it in this "your body is a baby-machine" mentality is beyond fucked up. It is not my sole purpose in life to create more life, any more than it's every living thing's life goal to perpetuate the species. The government isn't telling men to stay away from tighty-whiteys in order to maximize their sperm count, or to shy away from alcohol themselves because it can reduce performance.

This kind of thing doesn't just piss me off. It fucking terrifies me. As Dan Savage says, it's a small step between "should" and "must," and this is a damn slippery slope.

25 is a lot of times

I voted for the MLB All-Star game today! They let you vote 25 times, and usually I don't, but today I did. I thought surely it had screwed up and I'd voted way more than 25 times already, but then I got the "no you already voted enough" message, so it must have worked.

Fleet week has been a big bust. There were supposed to be many many sailors, roaming around and hitting on me and Liza. But no... Y'know, I thought the Navy wasn't involved in any desert operations, but have their numbers been depleted too? Or were they too "oh, I'm in Midtown, lalala"? The latter, probably.

Anyhoo, it's now too hot to retrieve and set up the AC. Oh irony of ironies.

Cosmo Confessions

Why Cosmopolitan Magazine rules, in an awesomely trashy way:

• The invention of the word "frienvy" (being envious of a friend... I thought this was just called "envy," but I guess I thought wrong.
  
• The obligatory celebrity-gossip-couched-in-expose-on-paparazzi story, about how now such details as cold sores and "more than a few inches of space between a 'happy' couple walking together" are scrutinized endlessly. This, only a couple months after the "sure signs these celeb couples were headed for disaster" article, in which those same few inches of space were scrutinized endlessly.
  
• Cosmo Kama Sutra, aka, how many ways can we make the same 5 sex positions look new and exciting? This month's installment: just add water.
  
• The untold (except for every other issue ever published) secret to great sex.
  
• The following example of decoding bad-guy language (as in, guys to actually avoid, like stalkers):
  
  He says: "I'm gonna hit the men's room again. Three times in an hour might be a record for me."
  Distilled Version: "I'm going to the men's room for the third time."
  True meaning: "I use cocaine."
  
  Ok, maybe I have a freakishly small bladder, but when I drink a few beers I have to pee at least that much, for real.

In other news, I'm thinking about grad school. Poly-sci. Better actually open that GRE book one of these days...

MayDay

What could possibly bring together Democratic Candidate for Congress and the Latin Kings? What else but the May 1 Immigrant General Strike? Now, I do support all peaceful political action, and I support many of the causes of the current anti-anti-immigration movement forming in the US (ok it probably has a better name than that but it's late and I have work in the morning), but ya gotta find that a little hilarious. Other supporters include plenty of communists and socialists (like they do), plus Four Women, Kanadian Posi Kids (what does Canada have to do with this?), Liars of America, and my favorite, Brooklyn's own Church of Stop Shopping (can true Anarchists go on strike? Like, the ones already living outside the capitalist system... How do they strike, try to trade stocks for the day?).

That said, how cool would a general immigrant strike be? In the US, not that uppity France over there. As a first-generation American on one side, should I take a long lunch or something? I'll have to try to not be too protested out after A29.

You'd do better living more and commemorating less

I had 3 topics to post about, and then 4, but I can't remember them... At least, not all of them. But I thought of a 5th. So, 5-[number of things in this post]=[number I could remember now].

Taxes

I did my taxes. I'm so independent! Ok, so I have yet to mail them, but they're totally printed out. TurboTax rules. Except when it sucks.

So everything was going fine, until I finished my MA return. Then TurboTax found errors. TT needed my 'PY to date'... 'Your what?' you ask. Yeah, I asked too. I ased TurboTax, I asked TurboTax Help, I even asked my dad. Nope. Eventually, I guessed, and entered a date (hey, it said date, right?). It seemed to like it, but then needed my PY from date. So I gave it another date. Totally worked. I rule!

You know you're becoming a New Yorker when...

So we were on the subway yesterday when a woman gets on acting a little odd and swinging a pair of towels around kind of like poi. She's talkin' to herself, like ya do, minding her own business... Then, she's singin' a song about shaking her ass, like ya do. Then, she pulls her pants down to show us, and slap, her naked ass. I of course looked the other way, only to see the reflection in the window, so I concentrated very hard on the subway wall. Like ya do.

What we all realized when we got off the subway was not how amazed and appalled we were by this person's behavior, but how relieved each of us was when she didn't relieve herself on the subway floor. I mean, nobody wants to be in a smelly car.

My birthday party!

Okay, maybe that wasn't one of the orignial 5. Hm... Anyhoo, it's next weekend. Woot! And the weather got warm just in time for a reprise of my infamous punch. Then I screwed up the invitation by trying to be too clever. But I think I fixed it.

The T-Shirt Book

This was definitely not one of the original 5. For those of you keeping score at home, I'm around 2.5.

Anyhoo, I found a book about awesome ways to alter t-shirts. I didn't buy it of course, but i looked through the entire thing at B&N and remembered enough that I want to get lots of awesome t-shirts and make them awesomer with scissors and thread. And maybe safety pins.

The FBI Won't Stop Calling Me

Not the real FBI. Just some telemarketers: 000-000-0000 and 800-424-something. So BSom told me I could auto-ignore the calls if I saved them, so I saved them as FBI, but then I couldn't ignore them at all because my phone's not that fancy. But, I got 13 calls between the two of them on Friday alone (I tried picking up, and both times there was actually nothing on the other end, so maybe not telemarketers but still annoying as shit). My guess is that good old TurboTax sold me out. Jerks.

Final score: 3.5 out of a possible 5

Things that rule

• This video
  
• That somebody found my blog by doing an MSN search for "max fisting"
  
• That somebody (else?) found my blog by doing an MSN search for "people in seatbelt car crash pictures"
  
• That both of my parents are asleep on the couch in front of the news right now
  
• Snowboarding!
  
• Down a black diamond! (on an easy mountain, but still)

Who are these MSN searchers?

Ok. Bed. Like in that picture in the Times Square subway station.

7th ave smells like ass

Or, more accurately, gas. Or new blacktop. Something icky that causes black lung, in any event.

Other news...

Shit I had like, 8 things to write about, and now I can't remember them. Hm...

Ooh, most awesome drunken injury of my life: I burned my nose. How it happened is between me and... the people who saw it happen.

Ordering in diner food rules. Especially when accompanied by a Project Runway marathon.

And speaking of fashion... I'm thinking of taking a knitting class. But like, a schmancy design knitting class. Or I'll just buy yarn and see what happens. Hmm...

Street Blood Holiday has a MySpace account. Now we're totally a legit band.

I join another group... or, club. Her Majesty's Satanic Stair Drinkers. We take the stairs up to work (on the 10th floor)... sometimes. And we're way cooler than that other stair-takers club. We're gonna have t-shirts instead of business cards, for one.

I'm snowboarding this weekend. Sweet.

The Upcoming Awesome

• Weekend in Middletown! Ok, I'm already here, totally pulling a JHoff. Tonight is RCart's birthday party. Woot!
  
• Liza party next weekend?
  
• Um... March.
  
• My birthday party! 8th April. Be there.
  
• My birthday! One year away from less expensive car rental...
  
• A29. This time we'll totally stop the war. Come crash in Brooklyn! It'll be a party. We'll even have snare drum.

Girls' Night Out!

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Originally uploaded by ertzeid.

So the lovely RBrig (third from left) is visiting all the way from Seattle, and we decided we simply had to show her the best time ever to be had in NYC. Ok, so like often there was much wandering around involved, but we still managed to spend obscene amounts of money on drinks (yay New York), and meet some awesome should-be-sex-columnists. Jersey, Westchester, and Massachusetts all showed up in rare form. There was much debauchery. And much hotness. In the form of us.

Then yesterday was snowday-tastic! Soup, beer, Olympics, and board games made for a most excellent night in.

Today... sledding? Snowball fight? Staying in and trying to actually get over this cold? Who knows...

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Originally uploaded by ertzeid.

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Originally uploaded by ertzeid.

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Originally uploaded by ertzeid.

In Which I Bitch-slap David Brooks

David Brooks, in his latest assault on everything that is good in the world (ok, maybe that's an exaggeration, but turnabout is fairplay), took a deeper look at online communties like MySpace, Friendster and facebook. I of course use the term deeper loosely.

According to Brooks, these sites provide an environment for twentysomethings—"highly mobile, half-teen/half-adult[s], looking for a life plan and in between the formal networks of school, career and family"—to flaunt their cleavage (in the case of girls) and, well, check out all of the cleavage (in the case of boys). The opinion piece, if one can call it that, catalogues all of the "smutty" content of these sites and only in the last two paragraphs attempts to provide any sort of analysis whatsoever. It then implies that such sites are the sole form of communication we even use. Doesn't he realize we have AIM, txt-mssging, and LIveJournal? I mean, duuuh.

But seriously. I find this entire article insulting. Brooks clearly suffers from that nearly inevitable affliction that causes a complete lack of understanding of people in generations younger than his. The article is yet another show of vicariously experiencing a less repressed culture than the author's own masquerading as a critique of said culture. Classic examples of similar behavior include white critiques of African-American culture and first-world anthropological writings about societies in the Global South.

Like everything else, this e-culture has its problems. It's a distraction, a waste of time, and a shit excuse for social contact. Facebook is elitist in that it's college-only or invite-only. It pisses me off when people use e-commenting as their sole form of communication. But few people actually do that, and those who do would probably be avoiding actual social situations even without the Interweb. But Brooks suggests that these sites have replaced all other forms of socializing. The only evidence he shows is the prevelance and popularity of these sites, as if their existence necessarily means the nonexistence of anything else.

Perhaps most insulting is Brooks's feeble attempt to appear the valiant defender of women's rights by calling out MySpace on the clear objectification of female [heterosexual or lesbian-as-male-turn-on—nothing in the article aknowledges that anything else exists] sexuality prevelant throughout the site. Ok, yes, such objectification is a problem—though not as widespread a one on MySpace as Brooks claims. But its existence in MySpace is a symptom of its existence in society overall, not a symptom of what makes young adults some socially stunted, emotionally uneducated, reason to fear for the future.

At least some good came of the article. I now have a text message on my phone from bsom that says, "Where did you go!!! I haven't seen you in a long time and I NEED to see you!!! Cause I love you!!!" Aw =D

Party!

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Originally uploaded by ertzeid.

New Year's Eve. Clockwise-ish, from bottom-left: the back of KPd's head, the back of a French guy's head, VReing (in the pink), Ariel, French guy, E-rok, French guy, French guy, Lilou

XMas Tree!

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Originally uploaded by ertzeid.

We added more lights later

JHoff

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Originally uploaded by ertzeid.

... ringing in the year 9007, apparently

TQ and BSom

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Originally uploaded by ertzeid.

P-Sal striking a pose

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Sadownik and TQ

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Originally uploaded by ertzeid.

You know it was a good New Year's Eve when...

• you don't remember taking half the pictures on your digital camera, even though you were clearly the one who took them
  
• you were clearly having a good time in pictures of yourself you don't remember posing for
  
• Sadownik comes in from out of town
  
• Lilou comes bearing cute French boys
  
• BSom and JHoff come bearing the finishing touches to both your *amazing* playlist and your extensive selection of liquor
  
• The neighbors come bearing 40's
  
• Jersey comes bearing tequila
  
• there was the wearing of many shirts
  
• there was the wearing of many novelty items
  
• there was, apparently, ass-slapping—of a strictly non-sketchy variety
  
• there was no permanent damage
  
• you find shirts in your apartment the next morning that don't belong to you, any of your roommates, or any of the people who spent the night
  
• you wake up the next morning and want nothing more than to hydrate and watch an entire season of "Sex and the City" on DVD with your fabulous roommates